Tonight I attended seminary graduation for our stake. A bunch of the girls in our branch wanted to go, so we went. It was bittersweet to remember that time in my life, just 5 years ago. (Man, I’m a baby.) I remember feeling so nervous, excited, anxious for the future, sad to leave behind all my friends and family, but still mostly excited. I remember how sad I was to leave friends – that was the huge thing for me. My best friend was staying in Atlanta, and I was going to school, by myself, not knowing a single person in Provo, except for my sister and her family. Yikes. I could see all of the students’ excitement and apprehension, but they were ready. Just like I was “ready” to be out on my own.
One of the talks given was about perspective. The word wasn’t actually used, but that’s what it was about. In the talk, the speaker mentioned our past, our present, and our future. How we are to live our lives and be the “middle men”, connecting the past, present, and future together. Connecting the ties between our ancestors, ourselves, and our future children. This really got me thinking about who we are and who has yet to come to this earth, and where we are all going.
In 10th grade, my chorus at school sang a song by one of my all-time favorite living composers named James Mulholland. The song is a poem (not by Mr. Mulholland) set to music – called Measure Me, Sky. I absolutely love the poem, and think of it often when I’m feeling down or frustrated. It’s the perfect pick-me-up and I think it relates to what I’ve been thinking tonight.
Here’s the poem:
Measure me, sky!
Tell me I reach by a song
Nearer the stars:
I have been little so long.
Weigh me, high wind!
What will your wild scales record?
Profit of pain,
Joy by the weight of a word.
Horizon, reach out!
Catch at my hands, stretch me taut,
Rim of the world:
Widen my eyes by a thought.
Sky, be my depth;
Wind, be my width and my height;
World, my heart’s span:
Loneliness, wings for my flight!
I think sometimes we get little glimpses here and there of eternity. Of the big picture. Of the right perspective. You know those times – when you think too hard and then realize how little you are in the world and how much there is to learn and grow and teach and think about. Tonight I had one of those glimpses.
I thought about my grandparents who are in the spirit world right now. The ones who have passed on already. And then I thought about my future children, right there next to them. My Henry probably knew his great-grandparents before he came to our family. And my little chicklets who have yet to be born are probably there now, saying, “You got it, mom! We love you!” And now I’m getting chills and tears and I can’t help but think – what am I waiting for? This is my life and my future, so what am I waiting for?
I taught a lesson today at church about how our Heavenly Father’s perspective is so much greater than ours. We see a teeny tiny little bit of the picture, where God sees the entire picture. He knows what we’ve been through, he knows what we’re going through, and he knows what we will have to face. But he knows we can do it and he will help us.
So, to this I say: measure me, sky. Stretch me taut. The world is my heart’s span and I’m ready to be tested and tried, to bring more little spirits into the world, to teach them and to love them, to be a mama. I’m ready to grow and learn and be the best companion to my husband that I can be. Sometimes lessons come our way at just the right time. I loved tonight and I love my newfound eternal perspective. Just holding on to this spirit and feeling, that’s the hard part. But I will try.
Wow, I forgot all about that beautiful song. The words mean so much more to me now than they did in 10th grade chorus. Thanks for this, I loved it!
<3 lovely!